This website and its content is dedicated to Gary Alan Lanoue. Gary transitioned on June 20 2010 and with that process began my journey. Gary lived life in a big way and touched the hearts of many people. Like most of us he was not perfect and was very much a work in progress but he possessed an uncanny ability to alter everything in his path. He was bright and intelligent with a great sense of humor and endless charm and personality. Our bond on earth made it possible to locate him after his transition and continue our conversations between two worlds. His death opened a doorway that changed my life and allowed me to discover that all things are possible and nothing is impossible. All earthly bonds remain intact and nothing that is created is ever lost. As we grieve for those that we have lost they too grieve for the ones they have left behind. We fear that they are gone forever and that we will never again hold them or love them and they are horrified as they watch their loved ones lose hope and move on as if they never existed on this plane. Love and loss work in both directions and although the transition we call death is unavoidable and is a part of the human experience it need not be filled with fear and anxiety. Our two worlds are very much linked by those who have known, loved or shared a common bond and our concerns for each other continue even in separation and make their mark on both sides. This website is tool to help you on that journey and a step by step real guide to overcoming your fear of the unknown. Many will read this website and few will undertake the journey. I have learned that you cannot force anyone to alter their path in life or broaden their horizons until the moment arrives and they are ready.
I have calmed the raging madness with work
But When it is done
It is your face that fills my moments
I want to scream loudly
I want to sit in the dark
I want to be left alone
Why did this have to happen?
Who is the bastard who controls the buttons
How dare he take you from us
Who do I call about this?
Does he have a number?
He got the wrong man
It is dark now
Soon it will be day 14 with you gone
Already the days will become weeks
How do we turn back time?
I dont want your memory to fade
This pain is too much to bare
But I fear that if I let it go you will slip away
50 years on this earth
I only knew you three
I am jealous of those who got to love you and hold you longer
Why did I not meet you sooner
Think of the possibilities
They say that love is eternal
Then I shall find you there
If heaven has a thousand rooms I will search them all
As many levels I will climb
Faces I will search
Until I find you there
I have come this far
I will not stop
And if there is no life there after
If to dust we turn
And flesh eaten by worms
Voices silenced
Memory faded
Then I shall pull my hair out
And cover my body with your dirt
And lay in it
Until I am one
Either way I will savor your essence
Your shoulders I will caress
My fingers through your blond hair I will run
Your beautiful cheek bones I will kiss
I will place my head against your chest
And hear your heart beat anew
For a thousand years
For now I have to play the game
Of the puppet master
Yeild to the hours of the day and night
Toil to make money
And then give the money away
Day after day
To earn my keep
On this side
I have thought about pulling the plug
Make a choice to leave this dimension
And follow you
but I fear that if I break the rules of the game
I will be returned back to the board
And made to skip my turn
And then I will never find you
But I am ready and willing to leave
No regrets here
Nothing to hold me back
Come take my hand
And take me there
I will join you there
In the bright light